Friday, April 28, 2006

Divine Retribution

Song in my head: "Way To Fall" by Starsailor

Lately, I've been tired. I haven't been keeping up on my daily task (Alright, alright, Nightly Task indeed... [I daydream during the day and I'm awake throughout the night] )
Somehow, I feel like I'm caught in a one-way street. I find myself lost, wondering more often than I used to.

Then it occured to me... I'm Running Out of Time.

I received a text message from one of our Top Animators in Top Peg Animation company, telling us to go to our general meeting tomorrow. It is a must for us to go coz we are under the Diploma Courses. I was hanging out with my friends at that time while having a garage sale somewhere in BF... all of a sudden my eyebrows met each other.

I couldn't speak.
I couldn't react.
I got scared.
My education's about to be screwed again.
I wanted to strike something.
I wanted to take a walk.
Somehow, I couldn't do those things.
I may be going too far from the correct side, but I couldn't help but think that I may be in danger again.
I just smiled.
Here we go again.
The Unsaid Sorrow.

Every morning before I go to sleep, I puff a cigarette or two, enjoying the 5:00am breeze, the silence and serenity, I stare at the morning Sun, and pray to make it through the day... But lately it's been different. I've been praying that everything will be alright, that I will graduate on schedule. (Fuck! I should've graduated this year.) Now I'm already late...

I look at my life and I ask now.

"Where The Fuck Have I Been?"

Hindi Ayos.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Push POWER To Play.

For the past weeks I've been doing this uncanny thing... by uncanny, I mean that even I think that it's a bit weird for me to do... Lately, I've been bored... A lot of things happened in my life that really affected my way of thinking... I found another way to ease myself from getting devoured by such thoughts.

Video Games. Oh yeah.

I can't deny that I've been playing these since I was a kid... It all started with the Atari 2600... slowling moving up to the HD Era of Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and Revolution.

I spent close to P20,000 for my current generation set-up. What the fuck have I been doing?!

I call that "Tactical Investment..."

I've been doing this "Buy and Sell" Thing for awhile now... I buy Brand New Sealed Xbox 360 units and I sell them for a little bit higher price... Not that much, but hey, a couple of thousands ain't bad enough, right? (Especially you spend not even a sweat...) I've been blessed with a few buyers, and I purchased some video games as well, [I'm trying this STICK TO ORIGINAL GAMES lately... at least, for Nintendo...] So I've been spending alot lately.

Honestly, I asked myself, what the hell am I doing? I'm 22 years old, damn it, and I'm still staying up late playing "Animal Crossing" on Nintendo Gamecube? Some people may say it's geeky, some people say it's weird... but I came across this sentence that really hit me...

"The Difference Between Men and Boys is The Cost of Their Toys..."

-Isipin niyo nalang. Hehehehe... at least I am earning on what I've been doing...


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

No One Is.

Early morning before going to sleep... (Yeah, I sleep that late.) I made a silent promise... Holy Tuesday, I'll clean up my room, (it's been reeking of cigarette smell, bunch of magazines scattered on the floor, video game controllers everywhere, music CD piles are all over...) I haven't got the groove to spruce up my room for the past days, I felt like I wanted to feel like I am somewhat like an Outlaw, for no apparent reason... Anyway, going back, on Holy Wednesday, I'll try to keep up with my school work... I still have to do this charcoal nude artwork, but where the Hell am I going to get a model?! A hooker? Nah... Saving up for a Nintendo DS...

Surprisingly, I woke up after like 4 hours of sleep... For me it's already an achievement. I took a long bath and started browsing through UK Resistance. I opened my door to my room and all I saw was like the end of the Earth. I cleaned it all up and after like an hour, I'm done.

I wanted to feel different. I still felt sleepy. I hate fish. But I have to because it's Holy Week. I popped in "The Incredibles" in my DVD player and observed how the CG artists developed the movements...

I admit, it's one of my favorite movies. It's always a treat to see a dream family that really cares about each other... But Dash's line when his mom told him that "Everyone is Special", he replied with a scowled face.... "In other words, no one is." It really hit me.

People keep telling others that they are special. That they are important. But then again, God created us equally...

Parang totoo yung sinabi dun sa movie ah.

I remember someone telling me that I complicate my own life. That I see most things in a negative way. That I always find a loophole to see something wrong in something that for their own concern is perfect.

What the f*ck? It's my life...

I don't know why I think this way. It's a bit unorthodox for some people, but hey, that's who I am.


Monday, April 10, 2006

Play The Flute.

What's Been Playing on my iPod Lately... (Recommendation Na Rin...)
-in no particular order.

1.To The Moon & Back - Savage Garden (I know... old school.)
2.Afraid of What - Leon Lai (One of the songs in M:I-2 Soundtrack that only a few know of.)
3.Over and Out - Brandtson (Astig yung beat and ang kulit ng kanta.. Mayday, Mayday!)
4.Someone You Need - Duncan Sheik (Perfect "When I Hear This I Want To Kill Myself..." Song.)
5.Way To Fall - Starsailor ( I want to be alone while I suffer... )
6.Pinakamagandang Lalaki - Janno Gibbs (Langyang Ramil Yan...)
7.So Cold - Breaking Benjamin (This will never get old...)
8.Scream - Wyrd ( I want my future girlfriend to have a voice like this girl... )
9.'Till The Clouds Clear" - Lamb (Jazzy Tune)
10.Feel Your Breeze - V6 (Jpop, one of the feel good songs...)
11.Ulan - Monks' Hood ("IKA'Y NAG-IISA!!!")
12.Girls With The Softest Lips Lash Out The Most Violent Words - Valley of Chrome (The title speaks for itself)
13.Snake Eater - Cynthia Harrel ("I'd give my life... Not for honor but for you.")
14.Leader of the Band - Dan Fogelberg (This song will forever be in my soul...)
15.Champagne Supernova - Oasis (How I crave for the rainy days...)



Ahhh... Holy Week once again. This is one of those weeks that will provide nothing but sheer boredom. Almost everybody will be going away for the whole week, some are going for vacations, while some are staying at the city. Whoopedoo...

Last night, I was just lying on my bed, smoking away while listening to the tunes of Starsailor (To be precise, the song is called "Way To Fall." Download it nga pala... ang ganda...) I came to realize some things:

1.I went to a mass yesterday and I got irritated... Mainit kasi, crowded, and a lot of children crying. People find it ironic that I hate busy places considering that I like rock music. Just to clear this up, I listen to rock music. I go to concerts, but only to the concerts of the band I'm friends with, or the bands that I actually like, and I usually prefer to stay at the corner... I came there to enjoy the music. Not to break my bones or others' bones.

2.I ate dinner with my mom, stepdad and my baby sister. Somehow, I felt weird. It was like there was this ridiculously large force field that keeps them away. Are they slipping away or I prefer to stay away? The hell I care... the next thing I knew I was walking alone at the mall, while they shop.

3.I was playing Dead or Alive: Ultimate on Xbox, and I was playing the Ultra Hard difficulty, and I ended up screaming like crazy coz the AI is so cheap! But why on Earth was I doing still playing with it? Hahahaha... Easy answer. Have you seen the DOA Girls? Hahahahaha!... If you keep on playing at the Ultra Hard Difficulty, you'll get to unlock their different outfits.

4.Got off the scissors and created my own iPod nano skin...

...Basta bottom line is: I have so much free time.